I had kids early, hoping to be a young grandmother. Turns out, my kids may not want children

Photo credit: Anneliese Bruner.

• I had my two kids by the time I was 30 and was hoping to be a young grandparent.
• When my ex-husband and I divorced, it took time for me and my kids to heal.
• My daughter has decided she doesn’t want kids, and my son isn’t sure.

My mom had her three kids early, and we were out of the house by the time she was in her mid-40s. Her freedom inspired me, and I believed the best way to enjoy midlife was to have the children I always wanted earlier rather than later.

I met my now ex-husband in college, and we dated all four years of undergrad. My daughter was born in December 1981, when I was 22 — the same year we finished school. Our son was born in 1988, at the same time my husband graduated and was slated to start a surgery residency. I was 28. Our kids’ births coincided with education milestones that were associated with moving to the next stage of life.

The first part of what I wanted was set. By 30, I had two kids, and they were more than four years apart, so we wouldn’t have to pay double college tuition in the future. After having them, I still had plenty of time to focus on my own dreams later on. I figured that when I was ready to focus on myself, my kids would be fairly independent…